Swan Lake
It was the start of Jill’s reign as chair Anticipation hung in the air To Dacre Park we all went On adventure and excitement hell bent
The evening began quite well Although there was a pretty strong smell But the rain had stopped, the sun was shining We were ready for some mighty fine dining
Said Jill, “It’s time to take to the water”. So off we all went, like lambs to the slaughter For zorb balling, canoeing and joking Never guessed we were in for a soaking!
The most sensible girls of the lot Rachel and Jo had a shot At whizzing along, athletic and strong To reach the far side, not too long
But what they could not have known Because the useless man had not told Was that a rampant beast was on the loose A marauding attacker, no, not a goose A gigantic, fearsome, crazy swan Who simply would not leave us alone!
At first we thought ‘oh look at this’ How charmingly sweet, what heavenly bliss This fine creature swimming with us All God’s creatures, in a truss
But then a strange thing did he A strutting, mating dance thought we He’s mistaken us for a lady swan Oh, but, how we were terribly wrong!
The strutting head became jabbing and longer His flapping wings stronger and stronger The dance had become outright war It was terrifying, awful, we wanted no more
We tried to make a quiet retreat But the violent nutter was enjoying his feat He dive bombed and pecked at us mercilessly As we made our desperate attempt to flee
Just then we thought he’s gone, it’s over Thank God we sighed, alleluia But no! the bugger had flown away To get a long run up, or ‘fly up’ you might say
We turned to see the torpedo beast Aiming straight at us, charging, fierce We both stood up, oars at the ready To defend ourselves, EH UP steady!
Yes, it decided to swoop, we fell into the lake What a wonderful splash we did make! Much mirth on the bank at our synchronised dive We were lucky to come out alive!
Chewing mouthfuls of weed and soaked up to the neck We hastened to shore, in fear of a peck But one thing’s for sure, on that night full of fun It was certainly 1-nil - to the swan!
One thing we can say though honey is that it most certainly Unequivocally WAS NOT FUNNY!
|